Thanks for keeping cocaine out of our parks and putting cocaine where it belongs: just outside of our parks, across the street. I know I don't want marijuana near our schools; I prefer that it be kept to the neighborhoods not nearby our schools.
Without you, Drug Free Zone, we would not know that we can't have drugs in certain places. True, drugs aren't technically allowed anywhere, but it is nice to reinforce the concept. Since I home-school my fictional children, I have made my house an official Drug Free School Zone, sign and all:
No drugs in my house are allowed. I am also making my house a:
- "Murder Free" Territory
- "Rape Is Not Okay" Place
and a
- "Music Sharing Does Not Violate Copyright Law As Long As The Artist is Dead" Joint
And let me tell you, ever since I put up said signs clarifying my position on already illegal activities, rapes and murders in my house have plummeted. If you want to take your rape and murder outside my house, so be it, but it will not be tolerated as long as you are under my roof. Oh, and don't ever forget: no drugs either.
Sincerely,
Keeper of the Grounds
