Thank you for providing the beauty of nature without any of the environmental benefits. I'm getting tired of all that fresh air regular plants have been spewing. It's so nice to look at a tree with the comfort of knowing it doesn't need dirt or water.
You know what I'd like? Fake animals, that's what. A nice, fake plastic dog. It would look nice, same as a regular dog, but I wouldn't have to feed it or pick up its feces. That's what I need. That's man's real best friend: plastic dogs.
And then I could get a fake cat and a fake turtle and a fake bird. Fake plants, you are onto something. Maybe someday our civilization will be so advanced, we'll even be able to have fake children and stuff. All the beauty - none of the work. That's what we need.
Sincerely,
Somebody Stuck Inside
