Dear Guy Who Waits Until the End of the Credits,
We appreciate your independent spirit. We do.
It's the spirit of perseverance, the spirit of patience, the spirit of finding out who the assistant of the assistant's lighting, mixer specialist's cousin's right-hand man was in Daddy Day Camp. It's the spirit that keeps an audience seated while teenagers sweep up popcorn around their legs. It's the spirit that ignores the house lights hinting for them to leave. It's that spirit that says, "the theatre experience isn't over 'till I say it's over."
Few of us have learned what you already know: the movie doesn't really start until it's already ended. Did not Van Gogh leave his signature on his masterpieces? Did not Picasso? Did not Michelangelo? Others probably did too, but I don't know that much about art. And if they did, why shouldn't the masses behind Home Alone 3 do the same? And more importantly, why shouldn't you know who they are? It was a rhetorical question, but I know you know the answer. Your actions speak louder than any non-rhetorical answer ever could.
Guy who waits until the end of the credits, you don't hang around too long -- the rest of us don't hang around long enough. I'm just giving credit where credit is due; and credit is due for the guy who watches the credits. It's a credit to the credits.
White type over black enthusiast