Dear NBA,
Per capita, nothing competes with your collection of fantastic names. To name a few:
Sonny Weems
Samardo Samuels
DeMar DeRosen
Royal Ivey
Jamario Moon
Thaddeus Young
Jerryd Bayless
Jrue Holiday
Pops Mensah-Bonsu
Kryrlo Fesenko (Krih-lo Fah-sank-o)
Quincy Pondexter
Von Wafer
Your archive of retired player's names is stacked... Anfernee Hardaway... Fat Lever (FAT LEVER!!!)... Muggsy Bogues... and my all-time favorite, Sarunas Marciulionis (Sha-Rhu-Nus Marsh-a-lone-us) Even your All-stars have great names: Carmelo... Chauncey... Shaquille... Amar'e... Baron... .
NBA, you are more than an organization of sporting professionals, you are a catalog of the greatest names in World History. Who needs a baby-naming book when you have a basketball roster right in front of you? No one does.
Thank you.
PS - I dedicate this post to my future children: Pops, Thaddeus and Samardo
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