Justin Bieber, of Bieber Fever Fame

Dear Justin Bieber,

Please stop spreading the Bieber fever. It's an epidemic.

I know one girl who got Bieber fever, now all the paint in her room is ruined because she put up too many posters and did it very hastily. Who's going to pay for that, Justin? Are you? I sure hope so. I surely do. But this isn't just about ruining paint, this is about America. I've been told you are from North North Dakota, sometimes called Canada. I don't like it one bit. And I'll tell you why.

All the sudden Bieber fever comes --from the great north-- as we inch closer to socialized medicine, which came from.... the great north. Coincidence? Not likely. I don't care what you think about socialized medicine -- we all know it leads to longer lines at the ER. Now, look what happens. Bieber fever strikes right as the lines at the ER hit record lengths, people can't get treated fast enough, and people start dying right there in the hospital waiting room. I've seen it happen with my own two eyes. It's a subtle plan - come to our country to spread a fever while simultaneously weakening health care's infrastructure. Baby, baby, baby, ohh? Yeah, you better start singing to the babies while you still can. At the rate you are killing little girls with your fever, pretty soon there won't be any more babies in this country, which is exactly what you wanted, wasn't it?

Go back to North North Dakota.

Sincerely,

Bieber Fever Vaccine Seeker