Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Way Seniors Wear Their Pants

Dear The Way Seniors Wear Their Pants,

I don't know why. I only know that it's okay.

If you weren't so polite, always tucking the shirt, we may not have even noticed you. But we do, pretty much every time. There's nothing shy about wearing pants at the belly button and sometimes well above it. You seem to center on the gut nicely, squaring a sagging torso, halving a crouched figure. On second thought, I will venture a theory as to why: the lower the belt, the harder it is to fasten. Way to be, senior pants, way to make things easier. You are to style what those over-sized phones and remote controls are to the good life.

There's a large percentage of the population that can't keep its pants up, and you have been showing us how to do it for a very, very long time. Those kids need to take note: high pants don't go out of style, that's why seniors are still able to roll them... after all these years.

Thank you for showing us how it's done,

The Fash-cientious

1 comment:

  1. I bet he's trying to keep his balls up where they're supposed to be. I know I am.