Dear Shoulder Pads,
Thanks for making it harder for me to get a job.
When I used to go into business interviews against women, I always thought my broad shoulders presented my most distinct advantage. But once you came around, I lost my edge. Damnit.
Shoulder pads, you really level the playing field. Sometimes I see people, thinking, "I don't think that women has the testosterone she'll need to survive in this business environment," but then she puts on a blazer and those exact same people are like, "never mind."
Curved shoulders are cliche. Straight shoulders are straight up awesome.
Thank you, women's shoulder pads, thank you indeed.