Thank you for providing the beauty of nature without any of the environmental benefits. I'm getting tired of all that fresh air regular plants have been spewing. It's so nice to look at a tree with the comfort of knowing it doesn't need dirt or water.
You know what I'd like? Fake animals, that's what. A nice, fake plastic dog. It would look nice, same as a regular dog, but I wouldn't have to feed it or pick up its feces. That's what I need. That's man's real best friend: plastic dogs.
And then I could get a fake cat and a fake turtle and a fake bird. Fake plants, you are onto something. Maybe someday our civilization will be so advanced, we'll even be able to have fake children and stuff. All the beauty - none of the work. That's what we need.
Sincerely,
Somebody Stuck Inside
I want a fake blog to read.
ReplyDeleteYes, you're on to something. I'd like a fake job.
ReplyDeleteI have a pet alligator that may or may not be fake but definitely thinks shes real.
ReplyDeleteI want a fake world now...Oops sorry we already have it...
ReplyDeletePlease leave something for nature alone to take care...
My fake spouse is so much more loving and less argumentative than the real thing.
ReplyDeleteI have a fake pair of jeans. I recommend them.
ReplyDeleteYou know what I hate about real plants, they're just sucking up all my CO2. With fake plants I can keep all the CO2 I want and as for oxygen, I'll just get some face O2 for my own personal use.
ReplyDeleteFake plants and flowers dont die within a week and remind me of my age or increase the doubt I have on my hubby.
ReplyDeleteYou too feel that licking by dogs gross. Count me in for plastic dogs and cats. People who love bears settle for teddybears dont they?
i can't help but agree with this... people are just too busy these days to take on responsibility for real things (e.g. plants, pets etc)...
ReplyDeletei like fake things but not everything... ^_^
@Bersercules, mine ought to do the trick
ReplyDelete@miranda, me too, especially one that pays
@Gia, maybe it's a real crocodile, which i think is a fake alligator
@Saru, you have a cool name
@Pickleope, someday you'll realize your fake spouse is infertile
ReplyDelete@Suze, I'm confused
@Lizzie, agreed. Sometimes I want the CO2 just for me, greedy plants
Fake fake people. (Real Housewives alumni.)
ReplyDeleteWell, some I hear have fake girlfriends and boyfriends already, so I guess the next step would be for them to purchase a fake tree they can hug in case their loved one's let them... erm... DOWN.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was little I used to water a fake ficus we had in our dining room. My mom told me to talk to it to help it grow. That bitch.
ReplyDelete;)
- Ash
Put me down for the fake job with real pay.
ReplyDeleteI once had fake magnetic fish. I partied too much to take care of a real animal. Thing is, magnetic fish have batteries that die so if you're as irresponsible as I was, even they quit swimming after a while. I was saddened they didn't float belly up though. I did not flush them, I just gave the whole tank away.
ReplyDeletewith "Fake dog" I imagine Rowdy from "Scrubs" ;D he's kinda real, but creepy ;DD
ReplyDeleteRadiohead it's some pretty cool ;D
ReplyDelete+follow, followme ;)
I agree. Hardwork is overrated. Can't I just give you money and you give me what I ask for?
ReplyDelete@vinny and bragondorn -- YE$
ReplyDelete@terminal-b.org -- I'm outside your room right nw, no problems
@sporkgasm -- you couldn't just get new batteries?
@ash -- while i don't normally condone cursing at mothers, your winky face makes it ok
@baiba1205 -- sorry i didn't reply to your comment in order
@RCB -- same with you
@dbs -- also you, except I'll add that i agree
I could've, but I didn't. I was THAT irresponsible.
ReplyDelete