Dear Thousandth Person to Be Clever with My Last Name,
I understand the joke was new for you. Believe me, I do. You are very clever, just like everyone else. Remember the time you finished you witticism with, "you've probably heard that a thousand times..."?
Yeah, I have.
Why you went against your intuition and said it anyway, that I don't know.
James INSERT JOKE HERE-INDUCING LAST NAME