Wednesday, September 14, 2011

People Considering Bowling

Dear Bowling Public,

The perfect score in bowling isn't 300.

Scoring 300 would imply that you bowl often, and bowling often is bowling too much. The perfect bowling score is about 130. That means you don't bowl very often, maybe once or twice a year, which is certainly not enough to get really good. And bowling rarely, if ever, that's perfect.

What do I have against bowling? It's just another one of those sports (see: badminton, tether ball) where being a winner is pretty close to being a loser. The sports are fine as rare recreation, but once you start taking those sports seriously, you start losing my respect.

Demetri Martin once remarked, ""I heard this guy say to his friend, 'Man, I'm really good at checkers.' Which is the same as saying, 'Man, I'm not good at a lot of things. I stink at everything except checkers.'" Sorry bowlers, you are the checker players of the sports world.

So, you want to get a perfect score?

Don't shoot for 300, bowling public.... perfection has never been so flawed.


Sincerely,

James

24 comments:

  1. :D i am bad at bowling, better at table tennis :D

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  2. We went bowling last week and my score was a 41. Plus I lost count of how many gutter balls I got. Your letter makes me feel better about myself.

    ~ Angela
    grahamandangela.blogspot.com

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  3. Wait, people actually keep score and don't just drink the whole time. Weird! Haha. Great post again. Hey, random shameless promotion, but I am hosting a blog hop this weekend called The Storytellers Blog Hop. It only involves blogs that DONT feature coupons, giveaways, random useless stuff. Your blog would be perfect. So maybe see you there???
    http://texagermanadian.blogspot.com/

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  4. People should be proud of their abilities even if they are checkers and bowling! Checkers takes some skill (not a hard game but can be hard to always win against people) and bowling takes balance and acurate hand eye cordination!

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  5. Dear Bersercules, I was hoping a bowler would read this. Thanks for your input.

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  6. Bowling takes a strong thumb. I do not possess a strong thumb.Sadly.

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  7. Checkers is a no brainer unlike Chess where you actually have to use your brain :-).

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  8. im teerrrrible at bowling, i get to drunk and just chuck the ball haha

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  9. I'm constantly over 240, and I bowl 1-2 times a year. I think it's just about eye-hand coordination and technique to some degree, everyone can bowl though, so it's a good place to go out to.

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  10. Dear Nitfit,

    You are "constantly over 240"? Are you aware the best bowler in the world this year averaged 223? http://www.pba.com/SeasonStats/TotalAverage/58
    I guess he must not practice as much as you.

    You must be really good. You should go pro.

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  11. Got something for you over at my place.

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  12. The real measure of man is his prowess in Wii bowling. I am consistently able to wipe the floor with my girlfriend's 4-year-old son. Then I brag about being able to go to McDonald's whenever I want.

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  13. haha a girl in my class once tried to argue that card games (such as oh I don't know, bridge) counted as a sport. sorry to break it to you sweetheart

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  14. it's a great sport, i mean you can eat while playing it, how cool is that ?

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  15. If the ball reaches the end of the lane I am assigned to, I am a winner!! Doesn't even have to hit anything... unless it's a person. That's worth triple points. Sadly, this has actually happened to me.

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  16. I like bowling and I never ever remember by scores.
    I hate Golf though.
    What sort sport is that which requires you to wear pressed pants and shirt and a person(caddy) to carry your accesories and which expects you to drive in vehicle in between shots and miles and miles of meadow and pond and most of all, without single drop of sweat?

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  17. I just read this and had an illicit chuckle ( I just had surgery a few days ago and am trying to keep from laughing lest I literally bust a gut...). Have you ever seen Kingpin? Where Bill Murray's hairpiece continuously melts off of his head? My perfect bowling score would be whatever the person gets who finishes my game when I get too preoccupied with pitchers of beer.
    Cheers!
    Meri
    http://merigoesround.com

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  18. This post actually makes me feel really good about myself. Because I majorlly suck at bowling. :)

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  19. ouch - LOL :-)


    Warm Aloha from Waikiki;

    Comfort Spiral


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  20. Yes, but I have noticed that if I bring young children and have to use the "gutter guards" it increases my score--I think dads who bowl once a year, but have kids should be able to shoot for 150.

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