Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The Guy Behind Me Honking

Dear Guy Behind Me Honking,

There's somebody in front of me. Instead of hitting that car, I have chosen to remain in this current spot on the road. I am sorry this inconveniences you and has put me in between you and your destination.

I wouldn't blame that car in front of me either, though. There's a car in front of them. And there's a car in front of that one to. Notice how it goes on as far as we can see? In many countries, we call this phenomenon: "traffic." One of the interesting things about traffic is that honking does not help its dissipation. If honking was an actual aide to the situation, I would gladly join you and your community of honkers. Alas, I fear that you are doing nothing. The roof is leaking and you're sandbagging the perimeter of the swimming pool.

When you're in a line at the grocery store, and there's twenty people in front of you and one register open, do you just start yelling out? "GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!" And how's that working out for you? Does that speed up the cashier? Is that moving people through that checkout any quicker? I'd imagine not.

Stop being a nuisance to public roads.

Sincerely,

The Rest of Us

25 comments:

  1. And it makes for a well deserved citation in some parts of the country.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahaha.... You have just made my day!
    I even got out out if my car once and went to speak to the stupid woman behind me honking. I said something similar to you, although there were a few more inappropriate words.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why people honk? Why do people use "f" word?
    But honking and screaming back at crying kids does more damage than not doing those.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for this. The unwarranted honk is ruthlessly annoying because there's not much you can do about it. Maybe I'll invent a scrolling marquee that goes in the back window that's voice operated.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear MeandMyThinkingCap, Where are you from? From your comment it appears to be a country in which the children drive?

    Dear Miss Teacher, Thank you!

    Dear Pickleope, Let's invent this scrolling marquee for sure. This would be hilarious and I would abuse it and make fun of people behind me, but it would be awesome.

    Dear Slamdunk, consider this a response to your comment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Littlejohn,
    "Where are you from? From your comment it appears to be a country in which the children drive? "
    => You are right. I am from the second most populated country in the world and we curb the population by letting children drive. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear MeandMyThinkingCap, this sounds like a magical place.

    ReplyDelete
  8. These people should lose their right to a horn. You know how some people have a breathalyzer attached to their ignition? They need some kind of device for after you've been cited for needlessly honking. Car won't turn on til the horn's disabled. We can use it for people who honk in traffic. Or people who have no problem honking at 5 am to let my neighbors know their carpool is here. Urrgh.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Gia, brilliant suggestions. Well done and thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. :-DDD this is something SO normal here in Italy. Honking is like smiling! :-DDD
    A woman once got out the car (her car wouldn's start) and told the man behind (the one who was furiously honking) "I can keep honking in your car if you manage to fix my car, what do you think?" :-DDD

    ReplyDelete
  11. I agree with you! I hate when people honk! I enjoyed reading your post!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Maybe the traffic is backed up because of a herd of moose on the road. In which case, honking is a good thing as it will clear the moose quicker, by hopefully scaring them and making them run away off of the road. Perhaps the person behind you was hoping that everyone would join in with him and the collective honking of dozens/hundreds of cars would scare away the moose herd. Maybe that's what it was.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dear Daisy, "honking is like smiling"? don't even get me started on smiling in public. uggh

    Dear Bersercules, thanks!

    Dear JJ, maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  14. No noooooo! Don't!!!! Someone could smile back at you! :-DDD
    Have a great (not smiling) day!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. It's funny you should bring up people waiting in lines where they can see each other. Like with the internet, I wonder if we'd think twice before honking at someone if we could see their face.

    ReplyDelete
  16. in my country, a lot of people have died because of traffic related fights. it's good to know that you were patient enough to not mind that jerk.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ah, the impatience of man.

    PS I gave you a shout out in my blog entry "constant craving" if you haven't seen it! :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. There's always seems to be a narcissist in the car behind me too.

    ReplyDelete
  19. haha, LOVE this! I hate these people who do that.... I usually move even slower on purpose or show them something nice with my hands ;D

    -B-

    ReplyDelete
  20. It is funny. Yes it is a headache when people go on honking.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. Maybe he was just cleaning his steering wheel. I accidentally honk all the time when I'm cleaning my steering wheel.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Great post. Good thing Robin Williams's Volvo with a gun rack isn't on the market yet.

    ReplyDelete