Saturday, June 11, 2011

People Squinting

Dear People Squinting,

Let’s say you want to invest in your future. Sure, you could get an education. You could even build up your 401k. But when you want to get serious about your future, you get serious about eye protection. The sooner the better. You don't wait until you stank to spray the cologne or applicate the flaky white stuff -- you preempt the stank. What is true about armpits is true about eyepits. Face it -- when you take care of your eyes, your eyes take care of you.

That’s why Solar Shields is the only brand of eye style I endorse. It’s also the only brand endorsed by the AARP. That’s right, America’s Greatest Generation sports the Shields. They fought Nazis; now they fight cataracts. UV stands for ultra violent.Solar Shields provide 1,000% UV protection -- this prevents your eyes from melting. They also discourage photosynthesis in people with green eyes. (Believe me, I have green eyes -- they used to be busy reversing carbon emissions, but now they are on vacation and loving it).

Durable? They’re 1,000% plastic. Floatable? They’re 1,000% plastic. Comfortable? They’re 1,000% plastic -- you can liquefy, soften, and mold them to fit an ill-shapen head.

Bigger is better. Wrap that concept around your brain, your eyes, and your future.


Someone with safe eyes


  1. Pensioners worldwide can't be wrong! Solar Shields needs to make you their spokes person.

  2. Squinting will have to do for me. My wife loses a pair of sunglasses each week. I call it her hobby.