Wednesday, February 29, 2012

the Unemployed

Dear Unemployed,

You may not be unemployed. You may be something else. Figure out which you are:

- Disemployed: You were employed but a distant relative of somebody at the company you were working at needed a job and your boss felt pressured to replace you with an act of nepotism.

- Underemployed: You were previously employed under morons and quit. Or you were employed under an automobile and the jack broke and you got crushed and have been in a hospital bed ever since.

- Inunemployed: You are a type of unemployment that's very difficult to pronounce, mostly because you were fired because you mumbled at work and nobody could understand you.

- Preemployed or Unpayployed: You are unemployed at an a place that's hired you as an unpaid intern. Technically, you have a job, except the difference is you can't afford to buy food.

- Betweemployed: You are very optimistic and like to frame your unemployment as being "between jobs" even though you don't know when that other job is coming. Good for you.

- Subemployed: You were laid off as a submarine worker. That's been a tough industry ever since the end of WWII. Of course, when business is exploding, that can be literal too, so it's not all bad that business is slow.

- Contraemployed: You are unemployed but not looking. For whatever reason, you are against working at all, which is increasingly unfortunate the more capitalistic the country you reside in.


The Economy

How to Nail a Job Interview


  1. It must be tough to be subemployed. No one is fighting for the submarine unions. I was "exemployed" for a while, where me and my old job agreed to just be friends (but I still call it every now and then when I'm drunk at 2 in the morning).

  2. Maybe some people are "dudemployed" and that's why their looking for a new job?

  3. Ring,ring!we are calling from oxford we have position open for you to make up new words to keep us employed. Would you be interested to employ yourself under us ? (what type of employee would you be? Whatever)

  4. I'm employed!~ in looking for a job!

  5. I thought I was unpayploid, because I'm a writer who hasn't sold anything yet, but after reading the description, I'm not sure what I am...

  6. Who's more miserable? People looking for a job? Or those looking to quit?

  7. I just want to be a gold digger, but then Kanye West wrote that one song, and every single time I see an old dude that looks pretty loaded, it starts playing in my head, and I hate Kanye West.

  8. Preemployed... that's a good one. And remember, whatever you do, don't forget to occasionally lick your lips.
    You have a nice day now!

  9. lol ;D I actually tried to pronounce Inunemployed several times until I got it ;D

  10. hi ^_^

    just dropping by to tell you that

    You are tagged in this "Get to Know Me" blog. ^_^

  11. I'm erroneously-employed, as in I lost my job, but still pretend to go to work daily to trick my fiancee into thinking I still have a job.